all growed up :)

So here I am revisiting my Blogspot, remembering where I was just a year ago, and really seeing the transformation I have gone through, and I am excited to express that I have found a way to understand myself a little better and I feel that I have become even more myself. Learning that life isn't a fairytale was difficult, but chasing the dream that society had beaten into me since I was born, was more difficult because I can never attain such perfection as a dream of a five year old little girl. Remembering how low I was and how dark I felt, my world was crashing down all around me, reminds me how I had really chosen that for myself by trying to achieve what I felt others expected of me, and not really looking at what I really wanted. If only we make the conscious or unconscious effort to do the right thing and be at peace with our own existence, accepting life as it comes, rather than constantly worrying when will everything be 'right' or what is going to happen next, life becomes easy and enjoyable. It is nice to stop and enjoy the moment for exactly what it is, and when you slow down a little, I've found for myself I listen better to everyone around me, including myself. I find that opportunities find me and life is full of unexpected surprises when you let go of expectations. To just 'be' is bliss. Carefree and smiling--comfortable with me and glowing. I can be who I am and not have that bitterness as I used to because I have learned not to be entitled. Cheerful, thoughtful, generous, humorous, and just happy -I guess because I stopped doing it for someone else, and I started doing it for me. I like doing nice things because it makes me feel good, not because I want someone else to like me or thought that by doing good I would have good done back to me. I've always owned my choices, but I just felt entitled, when really, no one owes me a thing. I've learned confidence is humble, and its a waste of time to be mad. I chose happiness and i choose laughter and i choose not to sweat the small stuff, but to appreciate it.