Do not pass go, do not collect $200

i am trying to live and let live. I cannot fix someone else, but of course i am still doing everything in my power to help them see the error in their ways and pleading with a higher power to help them correct and deal with their issues. Help is a funny word, because as it seems in a situation with a very strong, opinionated, 'take charge' kind of person, paired with a passive, unfocused, comfortable person--the obvious has been occurring. i have definitely stirred things up and shaken up the 'comfort zone', but as for actually putting the pieces back together, i am not able to. So did i actually help things? or did i just make a mess that i cannot clean up? For myself, i know i did what i needed to do to try and get to the place that would allow us to progress forward. But now i am left waiting, hoping and wishing that things could just get better. While i am waiting for a miracle, i have stunted my own growth, and have chose to sit in my own shit. i feel that i am so focused on getting what i feel i deserve, after putting in all my time and effort, that this being my last approach to fixing things, i am holding myself back. I fear that if i start to gain momentum singularly, i will become an even stronger person and regain my self confidence and have to choose myself over anything or anyone else. Now that may sound like a good thing, but i feel that would be a disservice to all my previous efforts and i would have to come to terms with the end, which i am not ready to do. I've been keeping myself in a place where i am not gathered or clear minded in hopes that somehow things will even out. I have been tearing myself down thinking it is going to make it easier to become equals. It has been a struggle to stay stagnant, but how else will he ever catch up? In a way there is a part of me that wants to be 'saved' but i know darn well how to save myself. i just have such a desire to get what i have been hoping and dreaming for for years, that i just will not allow it to be ruined or taken away from me. i will sacrifice my entire self. Until i have completely exhausted every option, i will keep beating it until i am convinced it is good and dead. I do not know my point of defeat, but i am not done yet.