oh snap, double click!

I think I've got it. Security. That is the key! I can give myself all I have, but it is really only measured by outside opinions. Everything that is in your heart has always been there, but it takes the observation and appreciation from the people in your life to let you know that you are okay. When you are unfulfilled in your life by means of who you surround yourself with, it becomes seemingly impossible to have an sort of satisfaction with yourself. The dance of life is very interesting when viewed through the eyes of someone unwilling. Some people just have no clue how to give back. I have always come from the adage "do unto others as you would want done unto you." I don't believe everyone here abides by that, and not to their fault, but it's just as people are. I am not perfect, but i certainly don't think I lack compassion in any sense of the word. Sometimes I am overly blunt, but that is just honesty which not everyone can handle either. I do not always intend to come off as harsh as I do. I don't believe all esteem stems from inside. I believe it is rooted there, but how can the only way you feel about yourself come from within when there are hundreds of outside forces you come in contact with in your daily life? I can be completely self sufficient, but without the pride of my father, or the happiness of my siblings, or the jealousy of others why would I strive for more? I know there is me and my own wants and needs, and some people in this world only fend for themselves, but I am not one of them. I find my inspiration lies with others in mind. It is something I enjoy doing and gives me purpose. I find that I need very little as far as material things, and I have always preferred the emotional support of others. Maybe that comes from the lack there of in the past, but that is not something that is going to leave me, instead I'd rather be proud of it even if I come up short in other places. There is an art to grasping other people's feelings, and opening your heart to them. I find that it is very freeing and my spirit becomes light as a feather. Considering other people's opinions, thoughts, needs and wants gives me more insight sometimes than actual life experience. If you can let go of self absorption and just try on someone else's skin, at least as best you can, open your mind, and the world's dynamics make a lot more sense and you may learn a thing or two about yourself.

))tick tock((

Why must my life be run by this measurement of "time"? Who decided a minute was 60 seconds, and what is the purpose of keeping track of it all? I understand the importance of limiting yourself as to push to get things done, but why is it so crucial? I find that my inner clock is much wiser and it has no idea what AM and PM are, or how to even read an analog time keeping device, let alone any of our man made existence shackles. I am a driven person, I want to wake up and go to work and get things done and feel accomplished and successful, but why must it be such a ridged and forced way of life controlled by this intangible barrier of 'time'? I am not the kind of person who is easily told what to do, nor do i like restraints put on me unless i choose to put them there. I think for the majority of my life i have been very responsible and disciplined when i needed to do so. Occasionally a small fire needed to be lit under my ass, but i think this world would better judged if people were more given more freedom of choice. It would separate the winners from the losers in a sense of self-motivation. Time is of the essence, says who? My time shouldn't necessarily be the same as your time. People don't remember how fast you did things, but rather how well you did them. I am quick and thorough most of the time, but I think without the pressure of the tick of the clock, things could be done more thoughtfully and less mistakes made. Also, in the scheme of life, if I am not tired, why must the clock tell me I need to go to bed? I would accomplish the same things if I was to rise and rest as I please and the quality of my existence would be greatly enhanced by the subtraction of the stresses associated with 'time'. As soon as five o'clock hits on a Friday, I am freed from the notion of time until Sunday rolls around, and I get anxious in the anticipation of Monday, checking the time several times through out the day, almost as a countdown to reality. I wish I could live clock free and I think it would do wonders for everyone if we just lived by the rule, "work before play" as often as possible, relieving the weight of this momentary measurement.