-I can only love deeply once, and if it isn’t reciprocated, the only option is to settle for what you get from the person you truly love, even if it is not 100%, or give the next person what you are getting from the one you really love and then they have to accept that you aren’t able to be 100% for them.
-I am creating this drama to distract myself from the real issues at heart, but cannot seem to focus otherwise because of my lack of ability to believe in myself.
-I don’t know how to really love and rely on myself anymore because I have lost my sense of self worth.
-I equate worrying about someone to how much I love them. In the same manner, I look and create drama in my life hoping someone worries about me so I know they love me.
-I do not hold on to the negative and may over accentuate the positive, with little positive in my life, I try and compensate so I have reason to be happy by focusing on the smaller things. This makes people think I am delusional.
-I am not whole heartedly able to give myself the attention and focus I need in other aspects of my life without knowing the state in which I am loved by another.
-I can distract myself for so long and use other people to fill me up, but the farce is short lived because as soon as something shifts, my insecurities take over and I become completely unstable.
-I don’t feel like I dislike myself, but maybe what I think I am, and what other people think I am are two different things. The way other people see me as a sweet, smart, pretty, happy person is what I want to believe, but inside I see myself as more of a conniving, desperate, sad, unintelligent burden because I really don’t think I can do anything on my own.
-My feelings do not always match reality. I “know” I am all the good things that you can describe about me because others have told me. I don’t necessarily see those things unless I know I am loved. Then things are clearer.
-If I am not doing things for someone else to make myself happy and to gain their approval, I don’t have motivation for my own life.
-I battle internally with myself about giving up. I want to, but I can’t. The area in between leaves me just floating along, no direction, no motivation, no real purpose, just going thru the motions.
-I cannot satisfy myself without being able to give my heart to someone. Once I am doing that, I find that I will make healthier choices for myself for the benefit of us both and it is easy.
-I don’t want others to pity me, but I want their concern. I want help, but I don’t want them to do it for me. I want hugs and kisses and reassurance, advice and a shoulder.
-It could all be as simple as I want to love and be loved. No strings attached, just pure uninhibited love. After that, all should fall into place?
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