Back to the Stroke part II

Because of an unfortunate and uncontrollable tragedy, I have found myself guilt ridden. I know it is not my fault, but somehow in my heart, I don't completely believe that. When situations such as this arise, i find myself really thinking i could have done something to prevent it. I should have been there and all the "what if i..."'s. As many times as i can be told, or tell myself it was not something I did to anyone, I just can't get over these kinds of thoughts. This inspires me to try and make things better and make up for my wrong, but my efforts never seem satisfactory to me. I try to rectify what i feel was a lack of concern or my own selfishness, but I can never seem to resolve it within myself. Then when I step back and look at the situation objectively, and "know" it is not my fault, but cannot deny how I feel, then i can analyze myself and maybe i am intending to help the situation, but possibly i am punishing myself for a crime i emotionally feel i committed? So clearly when there is no control over something, how can you possibly believe it was your doing? Emotions and reality, not friends in my world. Solutions are not even existent in this place either it seems...