April 15th is the WORST

Today has been quite a friggin' mess. Something like a blender with no lid ::frappe:: My emotions are scattered all over the place from personal matters, therefore EVERYTHING is irritating. Every other request directed at me has me going into my phone booth and quickly switching into Super Bitch. i have not been able to shake this demeanor for days. I find myself indulging in my legal addiction- food - constantly, and then feeling bad and guilty. i wish i was more fearful of my own guilt, but i always find a way to justify it. I am just not where i want to be, emotionally or physically. On a positive note, i find that even though i am Super Bitch, and have unexplainable emotional outbursts entangled in the past and can't seem to find a nice bone in my body, i have been pleasantly surprised with the reactions and feedback from my paramour. So at least on of us is starting to figure things out. I wish i could be more appreciative of these measures on the outside, but my walls are up, the gloves are on, and it is not going to be an easy feat. I feel like this is going to be a very very long road of undoing the past.